Thursday, 20 March 2014

How To

Serve a Moroccan breakfast:
Seat your guests in the renovated courtyard of a 16th-century house, now a riad. Give your budgies the fly of the place. At the table, around a central bowl of sugar, arrange four or five small trays of butter, olives, honey, jam, marmalade, and [some kind of caramel paste]. In the gaps between the trays, arrange four or five plates of croissant, various sweet buns (warmed or cold), a fried egg, cream cheese, [some kind of creamed cereal, warmed]. Bring orange juice, made just now. Bring coffee and warmed milk, or bring mint tea. Sweet? Sure! cry the budgies.

Feed a donkey:
Park him beside some orange peels.

Serve mint tea:
Set down a small glass (4-5 0z.) and 5-6 sugar cubes on a metal saucer. Set down a glass of water, no saucer. Set down a one-cup silver teapot filled with a palm-full of mint leaves and hot water, on a saucer.

Make a hammer from an existing hammer:
Drive from the head the remnants of a the broken shaft. Find a length of pipe about 2cm in diameter. Laying one end on the edge of a concrete floor, pound it beyond round. Drive that unrounded end into and through the old head. Cut shaft to desired length.

Make concrete:
Make a pile of two or three shovelfuls of sand. Add about half that much cement. Use the shovel to mix, creating a basin at the top of the pile. Go get the hose. Fill the basin with water. Shovel the mix into a bucket and pulley it up to the masons, who apply it to an exterior wall (so maybe it's as much plaster as concrete).

Get your Renault out of an impossible parking spot without erupting further into red splotches or permanently soiling with hot sweat the band of your indestructible Tilley hat:
Get five locals to pick up the back end and angle it into the street.


Brenda Schmidt said...

That's one glorious donkey!

Gerald Hill said...

I'll say. After that, a man came along, playing with his son, and plopped the kid up top. The donkey didn't mind, and the kid didn't. I went to take a picture but the dad signaled me not to. I didn't.