Thursday 21 July 2011

The Gerald Hill Diet, Step Six

I tell you, friends and family--stay away from liquor. Never mind the intrinsic caloric muscle of two pints of Palliser Porter after a workout, necessary to wash down the spicey chicken noodle dish and the green salad, blue cheese dressing, at Bushwakker. (A man gets thirsty after a hip mobility workout, my hips so far open I walked one way and imagined another.) The liquor wants more; a stop at the grocery store on the way home from the pub becomes the first purchase of a deck of Rip-L Chips since this diet began.

Can you tell I'm a third of the way through the first bag? I can. But I've already downed half of the follow-up Stella, so things are out of whack.

So, liquor. Sure the sunset over the court house looks fine, and the One Way sign (south) on Smith promises discovery by the movie crew shooting a block away. But it's not worth it. Rip-L #15 has lost snap. That half bottle of Stella looks a dirty-sweater green. This is no way to wait for the end of your diet, I tell you.

2 comments:

Brenda Schmidt said...

The Gerald Hill Diet, Step Six is a step alright. I think you should post a video of the hip mobility workout so us at home can follow along.

Gerald Hill said...

Not a bad idea, Brenda. I might tap into that crew down the street, borrow a camera and a couple of techs and of course anybody named Holga with oil and massage.